Neck Game Is Vicious
It’s hard for me to buy and wear jewelry because I have a proclivity for losing, maiming, or tangling delicate things. But I also have an unrelenting desire to be perfectly accessorized, so I persevere. If outfits are a mode of communication (and I believe they are), accessories are punctuation. Adding, shifting, or taking away punctuation changes the whole sentence. For example, a look sans accessories might say, “I’m a businessman.” Whereas with the right necklace: “I’m a business, man.”
Good jewelry stretches your wardrobe and allows you to re-invent looks. And by “good” I don’t mean real or really expensive. I mean STAND OUT. The Etsy movement allows us ballers on a budget to participate in a kind of couture at a cost we can afford. There is so much out there to be customized, or one of a kind pieces that will feel like they were made for you even if they weren’t.
This moment is about pendants. Something magnificent dangling from a metal chain. I’m very into bronze and copper right now for that rugged rose gold effect. If “pretty” and “something else entirely” are hanging next to each other in a display case, I’m NOT picking pretty nine times out of ten. I look for creepy, tough, clever. My collection includes the following menagerie: a queen bee preserved in a gold resin heart, a double headed lion, a vintage peacock, and a taxidermied parakeet head and wings.
If your clavicle is calling out for the wild, you should visit Loved to Death. They specialize in taxidermy jewelery. I really love this fruit bat skull on a rose gold cameo:
I am wearing a lot of pyrite (aka iron sulfide aka fool’s gold) lately. I like that faceted and filthy look. I appreciate the simultaneity of pyrite’s glimmer and hardness. While it’s sage advice not to BE a hard rock when you really are a gem, I am currently wearing rock-looking things and saving the gems for later.
Once you have a stable of prized necklaces you have to figure out when to wear each. Here is what I think about:
What metal? I consider the warmth, coolness, and depth of the colors I’m wearing. It’s not as simple as cool colors = silver metals and warm = gold metals, but that’s a basic guide. Gun metal is a free agent. Neutrals like white, black, navy, beige, and most grays can be paired with whatever. In all other cases ask: is the metal competing with glaring against the fabric? Does the metal lose its luster against a color? Then you’re giving “?” when you should “.” or maybe “!”
I also have a major thing against mixing metals. It’s like using a comma (‘) a semi-colon (;) and a dash (–) in the same sentence. Separate your thoughts divas; no run-on outfits! If your garment, shoes, or belt are heavily decorated with gold accents (or in my case if there’s so much as a gold grommet), I wouldn’t wear a silvery necklace.
How Long? Where a necklace hangs is as important as what hangs on the chain. I have this really beautiful layered chain necklace (see drawer pic) which I absolutely cannot wear with any button ups because it creates a golden waterfall between my tits. Not a good look. In general necklaces should hang above or below the breasts.
What is the outfit saying? I know, I know, I know that sounds ridiculous. Who the fuck do I think I am, the closet whisperer? Nah. But for real though, what are you trying to communicate with your clothes? Or an easier question: what’s missing from your look before you accessorize? If you’re wearing a lot of cotton but you need your look to say nighttime, get out your layered or longer chains. If you’re wearing pale colors and need some rumble, rough up your edges with burnished metals. Pair your most charming pendent with your most basic basics. Mostly high femme and need a different note? Maybe then you wear a taxidermied bird because why the “?!#%$:” not?